You are three months old now, and once again, I am wondering where the last month has gone. When I am at work, away from you, the days drag on, each minute like an hour. When I am at home with you in the evenings I cannot believe how quickly the time passes. It seems like I barely get you home and settled in and you are ready for bed. Despite warnings from other mothers, I still rock you to sleep every night. And even after you are asleep, I usually hold onto your warm little chubbiness for at least an hour. And sometimes I put you into bed a little less gently than I normally would, hoping you will wake up for more snuggle time. You usually don’t.
Though the weather was nasty and we didn’t actually leave the house, we still dressed you up for Halloween. You were a nurse and you wore the most darling little set of pink scrubs and a little pink hat. Cutest baby in the land, I’m certain.
I took you yesterday to have your pictures made again. You were so calm and patient and happy, as you always are. We changed your clothes 4 times without a single complaint from you. The ladies ohhed and ahhed over you, as any sane person would. The pictures are spectacular and I cannot wait to give them out to all your grandparents for Christmas. It’s truly amazing how much you have grown since we last had them made.
After we had your pictures made, I took you to Grammy’s house. Sasha loved on you and licked your face. She followed me around the house if I was holding you and stayed by your side if I wasn’t. I was changing your clothes on Grammy’s bed when I heard you make a strange noise. I was in the process of pulling your onesie over your head so I couldn’t see your face. When I finally got it over your head you had one of those infamous grins on your face. It was at this point that I discovered you were laughing. Grammy starting gently poking around your shoulders and neck and sure enough, you laughed again. This brought tears to Mommy’s eyes. It was not the surprised, cute, little giggle I had heard at the doctor’s office last month, and haven’t heard since, by the way. This was a true belly laugh. Looks like someone’s ticklish!
You still sit in your boppy, although you are almost too big for it. You get excited by anything that moves or makes a noise, and the first thing you usually do is arch your back and slide out of your boppy. You still like the ceiling fan, but there are many other things for it to compete with now. You are still mesmerized by the TV and will turn your head nearly all the way back to keep it in view.
You have begun reaching for things. You usually miss and your arms flail around frantically and you cry out in frustration. You still kick your legs in excitement, especially when you see someone up close on TV. After the ballgame this weekend, Bob Stoops was being interviewed and I thought you were you gonna jump out of that boppy and run. (I’ve assured your Daddy that this does not guarantee a definite OU fan, you simply thought Mr. Stoops was talking to you.)
You have begun losing some of your hair as I imagined you would. But it is still full and has continued to grow in length. Your eyes still haven’t changed completely brown yet and continue to be huge pools of dark gray. You are the most delightful thing I have ever laid eyes on.
I have to admit that I have been waiting three months for the reality of having a daughter to sink in. I have been expecting a wave of panic and fear to overwhelm me but have not experienced anything like that. I have had times when I’ve felt like you don’t like me, or that we were not bonding the way we should. I have always loved you and would do anything to protect you, but I have never felt that huge, intense, overwhelming, thing that everyone kept saying I would and should have. I have it now, Monkey. I can’t imagine my life without you and I don’t ever want to. My life, my family, my dreams…you complete them all.